First Nations Sunday - June 19, 2005
Christian Family Sunday
by Jane Clarke
The reading from Matthew
that we have heard makes me wonder why, on Christian Family Sunday we would read
about fractured families? Today is a celebration of families
focusing on fathers. I had to get my head around this reading to think about a
positive way we could try to even understand what was being said.
The writer of Matthew is
talking about sons being against their fathers, daughters against mothers and so
on. How do we see that in any way honouring our families?
One important thing to
remember is that this gospel was written at the beginning of the Jesus
movement. This new church was causing much discord among many people. I can
only imagine what it was doing to families. It is a difficult situation for
many families today to have one member attending church and the other not or
they both attend a different faith community.
Something to be reminded of
is that the writers of these gospels had no idea the words they wrote 2000
years ago would be read today. The people they were being written for knew
exactly what the writers meant because it pertained directly to them. Now we
are trying to make sense of these words in a completely different society in a
different part of the world.
So what do you think these
words are saying to us today? For me it means that I am free to believe what I
feel is right for me. In my family, other than James and myself we are quite
divided in our beliefs but we respect each other and do not argue about our
personal faiths. Even James and I don’t believe exactly the same way.
Regardless of what our theologies are we all try to live with truth, honesty,
love, gratitude and humility. As long as we live by those five elements God
knows our hearts. We may differ in how we view Jesus to be but we all follow
his example of how to live in this world and with each other. We have a
spiritual connection.
If I decided that my way of
believing was the only true way and tried to change their minds I know that it
would cause a great rift in our family and there would be the possibility to
turn against each other. This happens in families who believe fundamentally
that they are right and others are wrong. Unfortunately there are faiths that
teach that way.
Divisions can be caused in
families who have secrets that they keep for generations. It must be difficult
keeping secrets. In my experience the secrets usually get found out. Where is
the honesty in keeping secrets from one another? That could be a reason to tear
families apart. I suppose some families in the day that this gospel was written
kept secret that they were followers of Jesus. Maybe when the rest of the
family found out they could turn against them.
James S. Hewett wrote about
children in a prominent family who decided to give their father a book of the
family’s history for a birthday present. They commissioned a professional
biographer to do the work, carefully warning him of the family’s problem: Uncle
George had been executed in the electric chair for murder. The biographer
assured the children, “I can handle that situation so that there will be no
embarrassment. I’ll merely say that Uncle George occupied a chair of applied
electronics at an important government institution. He was attached to his
position by the strongest of ties and his death came as a real shock.
For those of you who may not
know, I am in the Lay Pastoral Minister in Training program which is a three
year program with a 14-day residential time each year in Montreal. I have now
completed my second year. With the completion of one more integrative paper due
in Oct. I will be able to go back to Montreal next year for my final residential
time and then, hopefully, be recognized by Alberta Northwest Conference the next
spring as a Lay Pastoral Minister.
For the past two weeks I
have been living in a community of abut 60 people. This has been, for me, quite
a challenge at times. Especially when I spent four days prior to going to
Montreal at the Annual General meeting of Alberta North West Conference with a
community of around 500 people.
You can only imagine the
dynamics of living among that many people and trying to get along for two
weeks. A huge family isn’t it? Not only were our theological views different
we were different personality types. Before going to Montreal we
were asked to do the Myers-Briggs personality type questions on the internet.
The results were forwarded to one of the planning team and our results were
waiting for us in Montreal. We spent a whole day going over the results and
doing exercises to show how we all learn differently and get along with others
differently.
It was very helpful for me
because I then could understand some of the people I was living with as well as
understanding myself a little better. It will continue to be helpful for me to
understand my church family and my friends outside the church.
I mentioned that the
theologies of the people attending varied. It must have been quite a stretch
for some to listen to the presenters of the scriptures because the Prof. for
scriptures was an extremely liberal theologian. Our presenter was Richard
Ascough from Queen’s University in Kingston ON. He is a wonderful teacher
and can make scripture come alive. It will take some time for all the
information to filter through my brain. Our days began at 7 a.m.
for breakfast and ended after 9 p.m. each evening with homework
to do before bed. Sundays were our days off. The heat and humidity were
incredible and the only air conditioning we had were fans. Other than the air
conditioned cafeteria that is.
We also had some time
learning about the Jesus Seminar, the psalms and the parables from different
presenters.
Philip Joudry, who is the
president of United Theological College in Montreal, which is the college we are
receiving our learning from, was the presenter for Pastoral Care. Philip also
teaches theology students pastoral care at McGill through the college.
We spent a lot of time
learning about ourselves and what triggers our emotions when people come to us
for pastoral care. I learned some things about myself that I didn’t know. The
day we spent on ourselves was a very emotionally draining day for many of us.
It is never easy to learn about our inner selves and then put it in the past
where it belongs.
One of our field trips was
to a Synagogue. It is a reform tradition so the men, women and children sit
together for worship. We were invited to go early before the Shabbat worship on
a Friday evening. There was a couple who described the service to us and what
to expect and told us about the synagogue and its traditions. They also told us
about the Torah’s that they have and showed us the tabernacle where they are
kept. The worship service was wonderful, the music was awesome and the Rabbi’s
sermon was one I could have preached. I would actually love to have a copy of
it and share it with you some day. Of course, like all good places of worship
we were invited to stay for refreshments after. Lots of good food and meeting
new people.
As I was reflecting about my
learning in Montreal and what I would say to you today about family I realized
that as much as times change times stay the same.
Family dynamics are
intricate and delicate. We are all different personalities and have different
beliefs and theologies. Mostly we can identify these differences in life in
harmony with each other but there are times when these differences can cause a
rift in relationship. The same is evident in our church family or the family
that I left in Montreal. We are all on a journey. Some of us are able to
journey together regardless of our differences and some choose to walk this path
with others who are more like-minded. The important thing to remember is that
we are all children of God. God loves each one of us no matter what. God
accepts our differences and loves the uniqueness of who each one of us is.
As we continue this journey
together of our time on this earth let us remember that our belief, whatever
that may be, is not necessarily the right belief for everyone. I am a
questioner so for me it is easy to be stretched and to like change and new ideas
and what-ifs. For someone else this is very distressing. Although change may
be distressing it may be a good exercise to find out why that is and to keep on
asking questions to learn why it is comfortable to believe the way we do.
I am thankful to this
congregation, this church family, who have agreed to be a learning sight for me
as I continue to search for who I am and who God and Jesus are for me on my
quest of faith. Amen