Sunday, August 28 – 10:00 a.m.
by Jane Clarke
Ralph Milton writes “As a child growing up in Manitoba, I learned the dialect of the Russian Mennonites. It’s a variety of Low German, very similar to Yiddish.
When my family and friends
would sit and chat, we had a word for it. Not gossip. Not natter. Not small
talk. The verb is nobah,
which literally translates to “neighbor.” When you sit and talk to each
other, just for the sake of talking to each other, you are “neighboring.” It’s
the activity that turns an acquaintance into a neighbor. It’s the recognition
that small things, the leak in the roof, the child just learning to walk, the
state of the garden, the sharing of these small coins of human currency build
community. Take care of the pennies and
the pounds will take care of themselves,” is another old saying. Translate that
into human relationships and it means that the little things of life are
sometimes more important than the big things. The “insignificant” things we say
to our family over breakfast are far more important than the big gifts we may
give on a birthday. The casual conversation over coffee in the church hall may
be more important than the sermon. The visit over the back fence may be more
important than the community meeting. Which is not to say that we
shouldn’t give due attention to the large issues that confront us. It is
possible to be “penny wise and pound foolish.” But it is also true that paying
attention to the tiny relationships is the glue that holds the community
together. So let’s import a new word
into English, or at least a new use for an old word. When we gather in the hall
after church, when we stand on the street corner and chat, we’re “neighboring.”
We’re building community.” (Ralph Milton in Sermon Seasonings (Wood Lake Books, 1997) I love the idea of
“neighboring”! I love the idea of getting to know each other by chatting and
hearing about another person’s family, life experiences or even chatting about
the weather. When we “neighbor” we learn abut people’s needs, sorrows, pains
and joys. We discover that everyone has a story of some kind and that other’s
stories are similar to ours. We unite our lives together in the sharing and the
caring, in the laughing and also in the crying. Sometimes in the
getting-to-know people we discover differences in our views that may cause
hurts. It can be difficult to get along with someone who is negative or hurtful
in the way they treat others. Maybe through this uniting we discover someone
who we perceive as mean. What did we hear read in scripture today? “Don’t be overcome by evil.
Overcome evil with good.” We read these words and we know that it is positive
to do that. Is it easy to do? Actually I believe that it may not be too
difficult to be kind rather than unkind. For instance, you may meet someone who
may be unkind to you. Say unkind words. This does not mean for us to fall
within this same realm. Know that we can change the situation by rising above –
by applying our kindness. This kindness may change this person’s entire day.
Instead of a day of discord, this person may value our kind words and have a
change of attitude. If they choose not to respond to our kindness we can bless
them and walk away without retaliating with unkind words or actions. I remember when our son,
Brad, was in grade five or six. He was very small for his age and he got
picked on quite a lot. There was one boy at the school who was much bigger than Brad and wanted Brad to fight him. He told Brad to meet him after school the next day and he was going to beat him up. Brad wanted me to take him to school and pick him up because he was really
scared of this boy. I was a single mom at the time so I told a friend of mine
what was happening and asked for his advice. He said a similar thing had
happened to him when he was young. His dad told him that the boy would not come
to the fight alone he would want an audience so when he met the boy just tell
him to go ahead and hit you because you are smaller and didn’t want to hit him
anyway. Of course the boy did not
hit him because he would have looked like a real meany hitting a small person.
The kids standing around made the bully look bad. Well, I told Brad the same thing and explained what had happened to my friend Ron. He
said he would try it. We were both very nervous. I waited all day at work for
a call from the hospital but it didn’t happen. Brad was quite relieved that he didn’t get beat up and that the plan
worked. He said that the other kids who came to watch turned on the bully
because he wanted to hit a smaller kid.
Brad didn’t have any trouble the rest of the year. I don’t know if this
encounter changed the bully’s life in any way but I do hope that he thought
twice about wanting to beat someone up; especially with an audience. Brad has never been a
fighter. I like to believe that even if he was the same size as the other boy
he would have tried not to fight back. The question from all this is “what
would have happened if an evil was exchanged for an evil?” There would have
been a big fight and someone could have been badly hurt. The person who was
hurt may have wanted to retaliate at another time and the war would go on. Is that how our world is
today? There are so many wars between families and friends, not to mention all
the wars being fought in other countries. Which brings me to the questions; do
we live in harmony? Verse 16 says “Live in harmony with one another.” How do
we do that? It seems an insurmountable command doesn’t it? I believe that if we learn
to live with each other in truth, honesty, love, humility and gratitude this
would help us to live in harmony. When we are completely honest about who we
are and always tell the truth then we are not a threat to anyone. When we give
without expecting anything in return we are unconditional with our love. When
we are thankful or grateful for all gifts, situations and elements of life that
happen to us and welcome our tests and challenges of life we live with
gratitude. When we stand up for who we are and what we believe in we are being
humble. If we live by these five elements, truth, honesty, love, gratitude and
humility we will be able to live harmoniously with the people around us. Can you imagine if we all
lived that way what our world would be like? I have been to a couple of
workshops this past year that taught how to live in harmony by living these 5
elements. It was interesting to learn that “an eye for an eye” means “all that
you put forth comes back tenfold”. Maybe not immediately but it will happen.
It doesn’t mean that if someone hits you, you hit back. If you do you may get
that anger or evil back tenfold. It makes sense to me! I have also learned at these
workshops to help anyone who asks. I may not have money if that is what they
want but I can ask them what else I could to for them. If someone asks for food
buy them the food they want. It is not up to me to judge. We are to give out
of kindness. Do not expect anything in return. That is what it means to love
unconditionally. It is easy for me to judge people and say who deserves what
but the kindness comes when I give without judgment. It would be controlling
their lives if I put stipulations upon them. Here is a definition of love
that I have learned: “Love is life that oversees the virtues of all souls as
being equal.” To understand equality among all would allow us to live in peace
and harmony. If we could see the equality of each, regardless of race, creed,
color, disposition of life, physical attribute, culture or viewpoint, imagine
what could happen. The thoughts of greed, power, hatred and control would soon
be abolished; these four words are what have given to the despair and turmoil of
our world. I love that definition of
love because I am reminded that we are made in the image of God. Our spirit our
souls are the divine within each of us. That is where we are equal, not one is
better or worse than another. There will always be people
who we feel more comfortable with and are drawn to. I don’t mean to say that we
have to be best friends with everyone we meet but I am saying that we ought to
try to treat everyone as equal. To treat others as we wish to be treated. As we “neighbor” and learn
to get to know each other across the back fence or in the church hall over a cup
of coffee or tea after worship let us remember that we are children of God,
loved by God and sharing God’s love in this world. I would like to conclude
with these words by a Swiss writer, critic, and philosopher, Henri Frederick
Amiel written in 1883. “Our service now continues
as we go forth into the world which God loves. Let us do so remembering that
life is short, and we do not have too much time to gladden the hearts of those
who travel the way with us. So be swift to love and make haste to be kind and
just. Now may the blessing of God – be with us all this day and forevermore.
Amen